


Sellers of Flowers

by AmyNoodles



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, F/M, Hallucinations, Nightmares, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Suicidal Thoughts, mental health, reader - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyNoodles/pseuds/AmyNoodles
Summary: Just because you're a mutant doesn't mean you don't face human issues, like depression.Having completely out of control powers doesn't help either. Hopefully Charles will be your guiding light.





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

' _And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones_  
 _'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs_ ,'

~ Daughter

 

It’s hard to describe depression to someone who doesn’t suffer from it. Of course, you’ll hear all of the sayings, about how it’s like drowning and everyone else can breathe apart from you.

 

You don’t believe that, however. The closest way you could find to describe it was like a heavy weight in your chest. And invisible weight that weighs you down, makes every action and emotion slower and more difficult. But no one else can see the weight, and they can’t understand why you can’t keep up.

 

But even then, it didn’t quite capture it. 

 

And you didn’t really talk about it. It’s not like you deliberately avoided the subject; you had tried to open up about it before. However, depression was a heavy thing, and not cured by overnight efforts. Most people couldn’t handle that, and threw a pep talk your way and that was it.

 

But you tried not to let that get to you, as depression was a lonely disease, and perhaps you were made to fight it alone. 

 

You had met Charles when he approached you in a park. And Erik. You were floored when they told you that they knew about your abilities. Your mutation. A power completely outwith your control.

 

You’d been homeless for about a year by that point, thanks to the incident. Bench to bench, couch to couch and occasionally a shelter. So, despite your reservations, you agreed to go with him.

 

You’d been there for about 6 months by now. Training alongside your new, mutated, talented friends was a shocking change from the life you used to lead. 

 

Not only that, but you had Charles. Someone you were  _ very  _ taken to. But depression did not allow time for dating, not that he’d be interested. Charles seemed like someone that needed stability, not you.

 

You cannot control your powers, nor do you understand the full depth of them. But that is what you aimed to understand with your time in the mansion. You did know what you could do, however. 

 

You could manipulative people’s fear. At least, that’s what you thought it was. You could bring forth people’s worst nightmares into hallucinations, and to paralyse them with fear of their darkest realities. 

 

You second ability, Charles had dubbed, ‘Pushing’. You could implant memories, thoughts and emotions into the minds of the others. This allowed you to manipulate them.

 

You only had one physical ability; if someone build up enough kinetic energy, you could harvest it. This allowed for brief moments of super strength, or speed, whilst your opponent was momentarily stunned. 

  
You knew you could do the physical aspect of energy stealing, but you never knew that your sleep paralysis and debilitating hallucinations were connected to your two mental abilities. Charles assured you with more control over your extraordinary mutations, you could stop it from happening to yourself. You were still waiting for that. 

 

Your new friends had dubbed your hero alias, ‘Ouija”. Which you found fitting. Connotations of horror, the unknown and nightmares just seemed to fit you. 

 

Hopefully it wouldn’t fit you any longer.  


	2. Nose Bleeds and Pizza

**-Chapter One-**

_ ‘Decisions are made and not bought _

_ But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot _

_ I guess not,’ _

~MGMT

  
  


‘Charles, I’m really not sure about this,’ you said, staring at the telepath. He smiled. 

 

‘I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t believe in you.’ 

 

You must’ve looked incredibly doubtful at this, because you then heard a voice in your head,  _ Trust me. _

 

You were in the room that Alex trained in. It almost seemed like a closed off tunnel, with voices echoing and bouncing off the walls, and a chill in the air. The marks from Alex’s previous session were minimal, meaning he was getting better. You were proud of him.

 

‘You’ll get better too,’ Charles said aloud. 

 

‘Don’t,’ you said shortly. If you were any other person, you’d be comfortable with Charles reaching in and reading your mind occasionally. But you weren’t any other person, and you had memories and visions that you couldn’t handle anyone else seeing. He’d never look at you the same. 

 

‘Sorry,’ Charles nodded in understanding. You had previously told him you didn’t like it. Nothing more, and certainly not the real reason.

 

‘You don’t realise what I can do,’ Not only were you not comfortable with Charles reading your mind, but you weren’t comfortable testing your powers on him. 

 

‘I do, (Y/N). Please. Trust me. If it gets out of hand, I can help,’ 

 

You knew there was no point in arguing. You nodded, slowly. You tried to swallow down your nerves, but there was no ignoring the fact your stomach was churning. Charles was stood at one end of the room, you were at the other. Normally his kind, soft eyes filled you with complete faith and trust, but not this time. 

 

‘Do you remember what we are focusing on today?’ He asked. 

 

You nodded, again. Fear. Your ability to extract a person’s nightmares and deep fears, and turn them into debilitating hallucinations. Charles had, time and time again, assured you that you could access his own personal fears. But you felt that was very invasive to do something like that to a friend. To someone you loved. Similarly, you had never practised this particular power in a training session before. And because of your lack of control, the powers often bounced back onto you. 

 

‘Ready?’ Charles watched you. His body language was confident, but you secretly hoped he was as nervous as you. It would’ve been more validating. 

 

You breathed in deeply, and concentrated. You felt a surge of power rise up from your feet into your chest. You narrowed your mind, eyes focused on Charles and only Charles. You felt your mind reaching into his, invasive and controlling. As you reached into his subconscious, you felt your hands tingle. If you were to look down, you would’ve seen the black mist that surrounded your palms whenever you did this. But you couldn’t break your gaze from the professor.

 

Sudden flashes came into your mind. Flashes of a fire. Charles groaned, and stepped back as if he had been punched in the stomach. But you couldn’t stop now. 

 

Another flash. The mansion. On fire. Everything lost. You strained, feeling a headache.

 

Another image in your head. Bodies. Some faces you could make out; Erik, Hank, Raven. You. 

 

But then, a breakthrough. Because a fire flashed into the tunnel. It wasn’t real, and it didn’t look too real. It was almost as if it was on an old-fashioned TV, with the static lessening the image. The hallucination filled the tunnel. 

 

‘Yes, (Y/N), you’re doing it! Keep going,’

 

Charles looked amazed, but you felt his fear. That’s what you did; you manipulated people’s fear. 

Without warning, you began to feel exhausted. You were slipping, losing your grip on your colleague’s mind. 

 

‘No, keep going!’ 

 

The feeling in your arms felt like you’d been swimming for hours, and you couldn’t go on any longer. Your head throbbed with a migraine. You pushed, you kept trying, and for a split second you flourished. The next step of your nightmare control was audio hallucinations, and screams filled the room briefly.

 

Then you staggered backward. You lost your constraint on the beautiful mind of Charles. You were winded. Then the hallucinations changed. Two people stood in the room; older people, with sympathetic faces, holding hands with each other. They said your names, and you screamed. 

 

‘No, no, no, (Y/N), let go,’ Charles raced toward you.

 

The people disappeared, and the room filled with ear-piercing screams. It was your scream, but it wasn’t from you. It was your hallucination. Your shrieking filled the room, and you heard voices, low voices, the words couldn’t be made out. 

 

You were on the floor, but you didn’t remember falling. Charles had his arms wrapped around you as you shook and sobbed. He was whispering to you, and you knew he was trying to read into your thoughts, but you were having a mental lockdown. 

 

The lights flashed on and off, and almost like a horror movie, a figure was racing toward you, knife in hand. The illusion had almost reached you before it burst, and disappeared. 

 

Charles had began yelling now, two fingers pressed against his forehead, and two against yours. Finally, it ended. Charles had smashed the mental block in your mind, and calmed you. Everything fell silent, apart from Charles’ heavy breathing, and your gentle crying. 

 

‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered. 

 

Charles didn’t say anything, bar a low ‘ssshh’.

  
You lay on the floor, head rested on his knees for a few more peaceful moments, recovering. You made a move to stand up, and collapsed almost immediately, as if a dead weight was on your chest. You didn’t even have the energy to talk.

 

‘ _ I can’t,’ _ you thought, momentarily allowing Charles into your mind. You were shaking, sweating, with blood from your nose pouring onto your top. You don’t know how you didn’t notice it before. Apparently you didn’t notice a lot of things. 

 

‘I’m going to get someone to come and help, okay?’ He breathed. You said nothing. 

 

You felt like you were going in and out of consciousness for brief moments, but you heard the door open, and felt yourself being lifted by someone. You heard Erik’s voice, low and concerned, and Charles replying, equally monotone. 

 

You don’t remember at what point you passed out. 

 

***

When you woke up, it was still afternoon. You guessed you had only been out for about two hours, at the most. You felt better, if a little bit drained. Sleeping always made you feel better after you had lost control. Which happened about 60% of the time. 

 

You rolled over, groaning, and saw a glass of water on your night stand. You praised whoever put it there, and downed it, feeling even more refreshed. You were in new clothes; a plain grey tee and pj shorts. You wondered who’d changed you. You sat up, and took a deep breath. You touched your nose. No blood.

 

The door creaked open, ‘(Y/N)?’.

 

‘I’m up,’ you croaked. You coughed, and repeated yourself, ‘I’m up, come in.’

 

Erik entered the room. He was a bit more chiseled in demeanor, and often sported a hardened face, much different from Charles. But when he entered your room, he looked softer. 

 

‘How are you? Charles sensed you had woken up, sent me to see you,’ 

  
He sat on the end of your double bed, and put his hand on your shin. 

 

‘How do I look?’ you retorted, smiling. You felt better, and you couldn’t handle pity at the best of times. You often found that you had to bring the mood up to relax others.

 

‘Hungover.’ Erik smiled back.

 

You laughed, and tried to flatten your hair, ‘How Charles? Did I hurt him?’

 

‘No, but you did give us all a fright,’

 

You shrugged, ‘That’s what I do. Pushing, energy stealing and fear control.’

 

‘You know that isn’t what I’m talking about,’ Erik lowered his brows, ‘What happened?’

 

‘Well, you know I don’t have a lot of control over my mental powers. I mean, I can handle energy stealing pretty well, and I have decent control over my pushing, but the fear stuff.. Is beyond me, at the best of times. More often or not, I project the powers onto myself, rather than my target. It brings up my own deepest fears and hallucinations,’

 

Erik said nothing, so you continued.

 

‘Because I’m doing it to myself, I think it hits me harder. Others should be reacting that way, not me. But I don’t know how to stop it. Because this was the first time Charles and I practised nightmare control, this is the first time I’ve lost control since I got here,’

 

‘Does this happen a lot?’

 

‘More often than not.’

 

Erik nodded, and looked like he had nothing else to say. Or maybe he didn’t know what to say. He patted your leg, looked at you sympathetically, and got up to leave.

 

‘I think Charles wanted to see you, but only when you’re feeling up to it. We’re ordering pizza tonight though, so that might encourage you,’

 

He winked, and left the room.

 

You sighed heavily and lay back onto your bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying guys, I'm really excited to write this :)


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